


Not So Fast, Boys.

by FriendlyCactus



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: At least buy me a drink first!, Because I always have to put that everywhere, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Knotting, More tags in the future, Multi, Porn With Plot, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Red and Edge are in their wolf version, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, dumbness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendlyCactus/pseuds/FriendlyCactus
Summary: You're no Red Riding Hood, you know pretty well your wolves.After all, you practically grew up with them.Only, in this last period it seems like they are interested in knowing you a bit more.Not so fast, boys.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Wolf!Underfell Papyrus/Reader, Wolf!Underfell Sans/Reader
Comments: 23
Kudos: 258





	Not So Fast, Boys.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot. With porn. I never wrote smut in my life.   
> So it was kind of a challenge.  
> One that I miserably failed.  
> I can't write one-shots.  
> As for the smut... you'll tell me I guess? (In the next chapter. This is kinda soft.)

Your family lived in a house at the edge of the woods, more specifically, right at the edge of the territory of a pack of monster hybrids that vaguely resembled human skeletons with some wolf traits, like ears, tails and feral behavior.

Not to mention the shitty attitude, but you were not sure that was strictly part of their wolf nature.

They were able to talk, even though they preferred growling, and luckily did not walk around naked, but they weren’t interested in adapting to society and liked to stay in the wild.

Living so close to their territory, your family had come to a peaceful understanding with them: you humans would not hunt in their territory or go around in the woods without permission, and they wouldn’t attack you or steal your animals.

Sometimes the adults came at your door asking for clothes to keep their offspring warm, bringing fresh meat as payment.

Speaking of offspring, there were two children (cubs) roughly your age in the pack named Red and Edge, two little shits with sharp teeth and bossy attitude who chased you all around your lawn the first time you met them. That is, until you picked up a huge stick and bashed it on Red’s head with enough force to snap it in half (the stick, not his head).

For a moment both you and your parents stood there in horrified silence, then Red’s father began laughing, complimenting your mother for her fierce “cub” and saying that you were welcome to play with his “pups” every time you wanted.

At first, your parents were not thrilled with the idea, but after seeing that you were more than able to keep up with the rough tumbling and rolling around those two did to play with you, they hesitantly let you just have fun. On the other hand, Red and Edge’s parents ended up adopting you more or less like a third cub, so there was not much choice.

Indeed both of them were rough and demanding in their own way, but even as a child you were not easily intimidated and ended up biting, scratching and growling your way into being their friend.

Red, the big brother, was your age and an absolute nightmare to grow up with: he was cocky and always ready to start a fight, often talking trash to you to push your buttons and drag you in a fight that always ended up with you both exhausted and laughing on the ground like the morons you were.

Edge, the little brother, was two years younger than you but had a mean streak that more than compensated his young age; he liked to bark orders at you and his brother and was obviously going to grow up to be an Alpha.

You three explored the woods together, fell asleep in big puppy piles after exhausting yourselves in mock fights, followed rabbits and squirrels to learn haunting and ate together, even though your parents banned you from eating raw meat as they did. 

Years passed, and things began to slowly change: you and Red kept matching in height, while Edge kept growing and growing, easily dwarfing you both; their bones and teeth became more tough and sharp, so they had to be more careful when mock-fighting with you, not mentioning the fact that the more they grew, the more urgent the need to assert their place in the pack hierarchy became, and since they considered you part of the pack as well, that meant that you had your fair share of butting heads with Edge when he tried to order you around and arguing with Red when he got too snippy with you.

Like you had suspected, Edge was growing up to become an Alpha, a big, imposing, loud Alpha, while Red kept becoming progressively more obnoxious and aggressive.

The puppy piles became Edge spooning you while you spooned Red, the playful tumbling in the dirt became you and Red transforming in a growling and snapping mess rolling around to establish who had the right to eat first after Edge, the childish curiosity to compare the differences between your species became them growing more and more frustrated with the fragility of your skin, the bluntness of your teeth and the fact that the more you grew, the more you had other things to keep you away from their territory, such as school, chores and other friends.

Your skin was peppered with light scars from all the scratching and grazing of fangs, but you didn’t really mind them, since you knew very well the difference between nibbles and real bites: nibbles were what Red did when screwing around with you; bites were what Edge did to snap a deer leg cleanly in two when he was hungry.

On the other hand, you bit them too when fighting, so it was only fair.

Then, in the summer of your eighteenth year, they both started to act strangely. Or, well, stranger than usual. 

At first you couldn’t put your finger on it: you were used to them rubbing on you to imprint their scent, especially if you had been away for more than a day, or biting you lightly to play or fight for dominance, but now… you’d do things like picking up berries and herbs, minding your own business, and Red would creep on you, lock his arms around your midsection and block you there while he buried his face in your neck; you’d let him do his strange wolf things for a minute, then you’d elbow him in the side and snap at him to back off, ignoring his growling protest and grabby hands.

Edge on the other hand was a wolf on a mission, and the mission was plump the heck out of you: what were you doing, eating those tiny and pathetic vegetables? You needed meat! Fat rabbits and tender deers were what you needed, you should consider yourself lucky that he was generous enough to provide all that your poor human diet lacked!

It was only after three days of Red growing progressively more bold in his grabbing and rubbing and Edge posturing to assert his dominance that it finally dawned on you, and it did right in the middle of you huffing in annoyance at the way Red was nipping at the back of your neck after winning a fight you had started at the sight of him stealing one of your chickens.

“Red, are you and Edge hitting on me?”

Red paused in the middle of lightly biting your skin.

The forgotten chicken clucked in the sudden silence, pecking happily at the ground a few feet from your pinned body.

“took you long enough, kitten. i was beginning to think i had to bend you over and straight mate you to make you understand.”

You shifted your head to try looking at him, earning a warning growl and more pressure on your body to keep you pinned face down to the ground in a submissive position.

Biting back a couple of insults that came to your mind, you did your best to stay still and not defy him; winning a dominance fight was a serious business, and Red wouldn’t cut you any slack for disrespecting him right now, just like you wouldn’t if your positions were reversed.

Keeping your tone calm and steady, you said: “Are your heats early this year? I can go to my aunt’s house as usual if that’s what this is all about.”

Placated by your compliance, Red resumed his nipping routine, adding long swipes of his wet tongue on your neck. “we’re not in heat. me and boss just had a nice long chat and decided you’re adult enough for mating and stuff.”

What the actual _heck_?

_Stay calm. Breathe. Don’t rage._

You were not going to bring up the fact that Edge was only sixteen, since you knew very well that they had a very different biology than humans and were considered adults earlier, but you were surely not going to shut up about the rest of this great idea of theirs.

“ _Mating_ in the sense of fucking?”

It wasn’t the first time this topic came up, after all: when their heats approached they were inclined to fuck pretty much everything that moved, hence your yearly trips to your aunt’s home. They were all sterile fuckings though, since only mated pairs could have cubs.

“ _mating_ in the sense of pinning you down with your sweet ass in the air and filling your belly with pups after marking you hard” said Red nuzzling the side of your face. Then, lowering his voice to a sultry tone, he added: “you’re gonna be a sweet little mate for us, right? bearing boss’ pups and then mine, letting us take care of you when your belly is nice and big.”

Your brain screeched to a halt as the meaning of his words slowly sank and made themself nice and cozy in your mind.

Suddenly you became very aware of every point of contact between your body and Red’s, from his hands pinning your arms next to your head, to his ribcage pressing down on your back and his legs tightening on either side of your thighs.

You gulped and shivered, trying to ignore his sharp teeth grazing your ear and his warm breath fanning over your cheek.

“fuck, you smell so good.”

“I smell as a sweaty mess covered in dirt and wolf drool, Red. Did you just say _pups?!_ ”

“mmmh yeah i did” said Red pressing his hips down on your butt. “it was a fucking nightmare waiting all this time, but boss was dead set on you reaching _proper human adulthood._ fuck, i can’t wait to breed you properly. how many pups are you going to give me?”

He sounded almost drunk, growling softly at your ear about how much he craved to pound into you from behind while cradling and massaging your pregnant belly.

You felt heat rush to your face as embarrassment and confusion settled in your head.

Red had always been the one for dirty jokes and the occasional slap on your butt, but physical contact between you had always been of the cuddling or grappling kind, never this blatant sexual approach.

To be fair, Red was not shy about his body and his sexual life, heck, you were even sure _you_ were the first person he proudly showed his dick to the first time he managed to manifest it! You’ve seen him naked more than once, he pestered you to know how human sex worked and joked about the fact that when you were ovulating you smelled like you were in heat, but you had just assumed that it was part of his personality, since he never really made a move on you.

And Edge... he was far more reserved than his brother. When he came out of his heaths, he never told you what happened during that period, and you never really saw him totally without his clothes. When he wanted to mark you with his smell (and himself with yours) he didn’t rub on you messily like Red did, instead he methodically pressed his face on your neck until he was satisfied with the result and then waited for you to do the same with him. When you became frustrated with his comments about how you needed more meat on your bones and how you needed to train more to build your stamina and you snapped at him to mind his business, he simply answered that both males and females searched for strong individuals as mates, so you had to be always in top conditions. But he never said that he wanted _you_ as his mate!

You... it wasn’t like you had never looked at them in a more than friendly way, in fact, you had asked yourself once or twice how it would have been to fool around with one of them, like kissing Edge or actually make out with Red in a light “best friends that do everything together now try this too” kind of way.

But this?

This whole suddenly going from best friends to “we want to marry you and have children with you”? 

This was too sudden.

“Red, let me up. I can’t have this conversation with you looming over me like this.”

That seemed to snap him back to bitch mode, earning you a reprimanding nip on your nape.

“let’s dial back on the orders, kitten. show me your throat first, like a good little omega.”

_Oh for the love of-_

You bit your tongue, only partially managing to hide the anger in your retort. “I’m a Beta like you and you know it.”

“not when i make you my bitch in a fight. now turn around and be sure to put up a convincing submissive act for once.”

He let up the pressure on your arms and back, giving you space to move, and you reluctantly turned around. The smug grin on his face made you want to knee him in the groin and kick all his teeth out, but instead you bit down on your pride and lifted your chin, leaving your throat exposed in the most vulnerable position a wolf (and also a human) could be.

You felt your whole body tense, ready to fight for your life; it was absurd, since you knew very well that Red was only being an ass and he would never actually hurt you, but in the past you had assisted to enough real pack fights for dominance to know what those sharp teeth could do, and all that marking talk Red had been doing earlier did nothing to ease your nerves.

“you’re still too tense, kitten. submit properly and i’ll let you up.”

“Just for the record, you’re a bastard.”

“duly noted.”

Breathing slowly, you let your muscles relax one by one, until you were left pliant and -ugh _\- submissive_ under him.

“that’s it, kitten. it’s not so bad to be obedient once in a while, no?” said Red lowering himself back down to nuzzle at your throat.

From this position, you could see his tail wagging happily from side to side, while his furry ears tickled your nose.

It came out of your mouth before you even realized you were about to say it.

“Don’t claim me.”

Red stopped and propped himself on his elbows to look at you with a bewildered expression. “are you crazy? boss would kill me if i did that before him.”

 _That_ was the only thing stopping him?!

“I… you… what about _me_ , Red? Couldn’t you at least have _asked_ before going all territorial over my ass?”

The bewildered expression stayed in its place.

Yep, they totally didn’t even think about it.

“you… don’t want us?” he asked stopping his tail and lowering his ears.

He suddenly looked like a kicked puppy left on the side of a rainy road.

“Oh no, you don’t get to play the hurt card now!” you said scooting back and pulling yourself up in a sitting position. “Maybe you and your brother should learn a thing or two about what courting actually means, before you take for granted that a girl is going to stay glued to your crotch for the rest of her life just because you decided so!”

With a final growl in his direction, you got up, grabbed your chicken and marched back toward your house.

The next day, it was Edge’s turn to hear his share of your righteous anger; you didn’t even have to go in the woods to look for him, he was already waiting for you the next morning at the border of his territory where the trees began. You had a feeling he had been waiting there since before dawn.

Well, he could wait a few more hours.

You made sure to take your sweet time doing your chores, both inside and out of your house, until the sun was well on his way to the afternoon.

Edge was absolutely bristling by the time you finally decided to join him.

Good.

“You! What is the meaning of this foolish behavior?” he asked looking down at you while digging his sharp fingertips in the tree’s bark. “What has my stupid brother done to make you refuse to be our mate?”

You put your hands on your hips and straighten your back in a clear challenging manner. Despite being an Alpha, Edge was more controlled than Red and was not going to fight you unless seriously provoked, so you were going to show him freely how much pissed you were right now.

“You see, that’s exactly what both of you did: nothing. I was living in blissed ignorance while you two plotted behind my back to take turns using me as a baby incubator! Seriously, guys? Without even asking me if I was okay with the idea of being even with one of you, let alone you both? Just yesterday we were like brothers and sister and now you suddenly want to bang my brains out?”

Edge made a disgusted expression at your last words. “Don’t compare yourself to a sibling ever again, that’s not an image I wish to have in my mind at all.”

“Oh, but the thought to share me with your brother apparently doesn’t disturb you so much!”

“That’s different.”

“Right, of course it is! Has it ever crossed your mind before you began making all your big projects that maybe I could not be interested in mating with either of you?”

Suddenly the bark splintered under his grip, while a mix of confusion, hurt, anger and disbelief showed on Edge’s face, just like it had happened with Red the day before.

“Why wouldn’t you?” he asked in a low voice, taking a step forward to better tower over you.

You refused to back down, pointing a finger at his chest. “Why would I? What have you done to make me consider you more than a friend, besides trying to give me scurvy with all that meat? What has Red done, besides rubbing himself all over my clothes and pushing me to my butt to show how big and bad he is?”

For a moment he just stood there, burning a hole in your face with his red eye lights.

“What should we do, then?”

You blinked. “What?”

“Pay attention, don’t make me always repeat myself. What should we do to convince you to become our mate?”

You felt your mouth dropping open, actually stunned by his compliance.

You had expected him to throw a tantrum, spewing bullshit about him being Alpha and you having to obey him.

But he was actually… listening to you?

“Well, uhm… don’t take things for granted! Children are not an easy topic for humans, you know. I can’t go straight from platonic cuddling to being a mother with two husbands!”

Edge tilted his head, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

“So what you’re saying is that you need more proof that we’re actually a good match not only as pack members but also as sexual and mating partners.”

“What I’m saying is that yesterday Red was talking about pups while grinding on my butt and I’d really appreciate it if you’d not do the same out of the blue.”

“Well, this is actually reasonable. I was planning on showing you more of my courting skills before that idiot decided to spill everything in that crass way of his.”

That took all the wind off your sails, leaving you standing dumbfounded as Edge lifted his hand and lightly grabbed a strand of your hair.

“Forget all that moron said, and give us a chance to prove you our worth as potential mates and fathers of your cubs.”

He slowly brought your hair to his nose, never breaking eye contact with you.

You felt yourself blush.

Since when Edge was this smooth?

“But… why both of you? Humans don’t marry two people at once, and I know wolves don’t do it either.” 

“Yeah, normally I would fight to the death for the right of mating you, but luckily for him, that useless pile of bones is my brother. If anything, he’s going to be of some help with our pups.”

Great. That meant that you couldn’t accept or refuse only one of them. They were a package deal.

Edge twirled your lock around his finger and raised his other hand to cup your nape.

His sharp fingertips grazed your skin and you shivered.

Slowly, he bent down, tugging lightly at you nape to tilt your face up.

You shifted your eyes to his mouth, where his sharp fangs parted slightly, probably in anticipation of nipping at your skin.

You put your hands on his chest, ready to remind him that dominance displays could wait until you had finished talking, but instead of going for your neck like you expected, Edge bumped his forehead with yours, and when you opened your mouth in surprise he gently took your lower lip between his teeth.

You blinked in shock, feeling all the fight in you leaving your body in a matter of seconds.

Edge took advantage of your sudden compliance to maneuver you until you felt the rough texture of the tree’s bark against your back.

Your hands rested uselessly against his chest in your stupor, while one of his caged you in and the other clenched in you hair.

He kept kissing you in his way, nipping gently at your lips and using his tongue to lessen the sting.

“Edge,” you said breathlessly as he leaned back a little, “we still need to talk. Now. You’re not kissing your way out of this.”

He sighed and rested again his forehead against yours.

“Very well. It was still worth a try.”

Fighting the sudden lightheadedness you managed to pass under his arm and take a step back on not so steady legs.

“Okay, uhm, yes.”

You took a big breath and exhaled slowly. “Edge, do you even have a slight idea of how hard this type of relationship would be? Is your Alpha nature going to let you stay calm every time Red wants to have sex with me, or are you going to argue that it’s your right to always go first? What about when you’re both in heat? Pack hierarchy is a thing that I respect, but I won’t stand down to that kind of bullshit in a marriage, so neither of you would get to pull your rank on me when it comes to our family.”

You raised your hand in front of you when it seemed like Edge was about to say something. “Look, I do love you, even if you’ve always been an insufferable brat and Red is more often than not an arrogant bastard. But I always thought that you would end up with an Alpha female from your pack and Red would find himself a poor little soul with a lot of patience and bullshit tolerance on her back. I don’t even know if I’m wife material at all.”

You shifted your weight from foot to foot as Edge mulled over your words.

You didn’t even know what you hoped to hear at this point.

At last, Edge seemed to come at a conclusion.

“Very well. You have given me a lot of things to think about, and I can’t tell that your worries are unfounded. You’d be a fool is the peculiarity of our arrangement didn’t raise any doubts in you. So, what do you propose? What is it that is going to make you believe without reservations that you can become our mate?”

You backed away from him even more, raising your hands. “Ooh no, you’re not getting out of this so easily. While it’s good that you want to listen to my advice, it would be too simple for you two to just do what I want for a month or two. If you really want to do this and marry me, then it’s your job to understand on your own what would make me actually consider accepting this madness. I’m sure that if you two put your brains together, twelve and plus years of knowing me are going to be more than enough to accomplish this feat. I can tell you right away to dial back the children talk and maybe stop getting in fights with me only for the excuse to feel me up, but other than this you’re on your own. So, good luck.”

\-------------

A light grazing on your hair slowly woke you up from your drowsiness.

You moaned and borrowed your face more into Red’s fluffy coat, while Edge kept carding his phalanges through your hair, tightening his arm around your waist and pressing his chest more firmly to your back.

Warm lazy mornings were the best: just you, those two boneheads and a cozy corner of a meadow bathed in sunlight to sleep undisturbed.

It was actually rare to convince Edge to indulge in “such lazy endeavors”, but since this whole courtship thing began, you found that it had become very easy to make these two act as you wanted.

And what you wanted was to be a real bitch.

They thought that courting you would be a piece of cake, that simply because you had been best friends all your lives they could just decide to take it to the next level without putting much effort into convincing you to accept them?

They. Were. So. Wrong.

For the last month you made them run around like headless chickens, refusing their gifts, using them as literal stools to pick fruits from high trees, cleaning yourself and your clothes every chance you got to erase their scent from you, carrying around a huge stick to keep Red away and eating potatoes in plain view when Edge left plump rabbits on your doorstep (you eventually brought them inside, you were not a food waster).

It worked; they grew frustrated and began creating more elaborate plans to impress you, often working together to accomplish their goal: Edge distracting you outside while Red sneaked in your room to build a giant nest of sheets, soft rabbit pelts and clothes both yours and theirs; you waking up in the morning to find out that Edge had spent the whole night guarding your animals because there had been a series of livestock theft in your area in those days; Red bringing you new chickens and sheep he had “found wandering around”; Edge returning those animals after slapping his brother on the back of his head; Red bringing you an injured fox cub and helping you nurse it back to health; both of them bringing you out on a midnight trip to see the full moon reflects itself on the crystal clear waters of a little lake hidden on the edge of their territory.

That’s where you three had fallen asleep in a pile and where now Edge was slowly grazing your scalp into heaven.

Red seemed still asleep with his back to your chest, and you realized that at some point in the night you had snuck your hands under his coat and threaded your fingers with his ribs. You had also hooked one of your legs over both of his, for that matter, with his tail resting peacefully over your thigh.

You sleepily turned your head to look at Edge, who stopped caressing your hair to brush lightly your cheek with the back of his fingers.

“Why did you wake me up?” you mumbled leaning more on his touch.

“I was wondering why you always end up hugging my brother when we sleep together.”

You yawned. “He’s soft and you’re tall. Also, if I hugged you and let Red at my back he would probably start humping me in his sleep.”

Red’s tail twitched on your leg, doing a half wiggle. Not so asleep after all, uh?

“Let’s just say that I trust you more with my ass.”

Edge smirked and pressed his hips flush with yours, letting you feel the bulge under his pants. “Only because I’m not a crass animal like him it doesn’t mean that your body doesn’t affect me.”

You smiled softly and started slowly grinding your butt back on him, earning a satisfied growl.

“Yeah, I think I noticed. Tell me, how does this work exactly in your mind, Edge?” you asked while still moving languidly your hips. “Would it get you off to fuck me while I’m holding Red like this? Your every thrust would press me even more into him, moaning right in his ear. I know he’d love it like the slut he is, but what about you?”

Edge gripped harshly your tight, keeping you still as he ground more forcefully on you. “How bold of you to assume that something so trivial could stop me. The whole pack could be watching us and I wouldn’t care.”

His movement made you press the front of your pelvis against Red and you tightened reflexively your grip on his ribs, making him fully emerge from his slumber with a soft curse.

“damn guys, sounds like you’re having a party back there.”

He tried to roll around to face you, but you clenched even more your arms and leg around his body to keep him in place. Edge was now breathing heavily at your ear while steadily grounding his now full-formed erection against your ass, which in turn made your clit press heavenly against the hard ridge of Red’s pelvis.

You moaned softly, feeling heath spreading through your whole body.

Suddenly, you needed more friction.

You started moving again, matching Edge’s pace, while dragging your tongue up the back of Red’s vertebrae.

Then you bit down.

Red’s left hand shot down to dig his fingers on your thigh next to Edge’s hand.

“fuck, kitten! m-more!”

Leaving one hand on his ribs, you trailed the other down until you found his clothed length. You gripped it harshly, but kept your hand still.

“ _Beg for it, my little omega_ ”

Red stiffened against you, his pride likely fighting against his natural horniness.

To give him an extra incentive, you circled slowly your thumb over the tip.

“d-damn.”

Another swipe.

“Don’t you want to be a good boy for me? No?”

You made to retract your hand, but he instantly grabbed it.

“fuck, _wait_!”

He arched his back, pushing your hand back on him. “ _please_ , kitten. i’ve waited too long for this.”

You smirked and sneaked your hand under his pants, grabbing him fully.

He shuddered and growled his appreciation, trying to thrust in your hand, but you bit his shoulder in warning. “Keep still.”

Edge laughed breathlessly at your dominance display, tightening even more his grip on you.

You didn’t for how much time you three spent like that, sweating and making low sounds while chasing your approaching peaks.

Red was the first to reach it, clawing at the ground as your hand gave him no reprieve until he was spilling hot cum and cursing under his breath.

You were next, him going limp in your arms giving you the perfect angle to work yourself over the edge, your orgasm dragged on deliciously by the now frantic way Edge was thrusting on you, his leg going over yours to better keep you flush against him.

You were panting at Red’s ear, still lightheaded with your recent release, when Edge finally stiffened behind you and squeezed you so hard that for a moment you actually had trouble breathing properly.

Then you felt him move his arm from under you and then you heard a loud _crunch._

Looking back, you realized that he was biting his own arm to keep himself from biting _you,_ his crimson eye lights staring unwaveringly at your neck.

You felt yourself blush and turned your face back on Red’s nape.

For a few minutes you all simply stayed there, all tangled up and panting while basking in your afterglows.

Then of course Red had to open his stupid maw and ruin everything.

“fucking finally! does this mean we can fuck you now?”

Edge reached over you to slap his brother on the head while you groaned and disentangled yourself from limbs and tails to sit up.

“ _what_?” 

“You’re the usual imbecile!”

“i’m just asking, bro! she was all over our faces for not asking before, so i wanted to make sure!”

You made to rub your hands over your face, but then remembered just in time in what was coated your left one at the moment; you looked at Red, who was still arguing with his brother, and with a straight face wiped your hand on his pants.

He sputtered and looked up at you incredulously. “what the... kitten!”

“Don’t give me that look, this stuff is all yours. And your pants are already dirty anyway.”

“you would bite my head off if i did the same to you.”

That was true.

“I never took you for someone who cared so much for his personal hygiene, Red. If you mind so much there’s a lake right there.”

Red seemed on the verge of protesting again, but then he paused and gained a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“she’s right, bro. we could use a bath now that i think about it.”

You whipped your head toward Edge, who cupped his chin in thought.

“Actually, for once you’re right, Red. It seems like our recent activity has left us all sweaty and... more.”

“we can’t go around like this.”

“I concord. A cold bath sounds like a solid idea.”

You quickly shot to your feet, slowly backing with your hands raised.

“No, bad idea. I’m good. Actually, I think I’m going to head home...”

They both slowly got up, an identical diabolical expression painted on their faces.

“No, no, down, bad wolves, don’t you dar-EEEE!!”

You shrieked like a banshee as Edge grabbed and hoisted you over his shoulder, heading straight for the lake as Red trailed behind you with a shit-eating grin.

“No, no, put me down! I swear I’m gonna kill you! You’ll pay for this! AAARGH!”

As first Edge and then Red followed you in the ice-cold water, you swore to yourself that you were going to have your revenge.

Your sweet, sweet revenge.


End file.
